erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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