I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
