Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
