Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
