I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
