You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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