Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
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so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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