My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
