How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
