Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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