Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
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