Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
