the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
