We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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