Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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