Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
