Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
