i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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