you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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