I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
