I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
