Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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