Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
A+ Viking dick
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