i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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