Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
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Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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