It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
