Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
