If i come over, it means nothing
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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