just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize