someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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