Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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