FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
