Yo dont text me then not text me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
