It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
