and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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