'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
bring money and cleavage
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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