my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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