i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
