i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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