hotel room ftw
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
