Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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