if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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