I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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