We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
