Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
