i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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