So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
