My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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