Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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