My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
