we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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