guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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