I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
