we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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