About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
