hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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