I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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