I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Gay?
German.
Pity.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
