Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
