Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
