he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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