Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
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We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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