Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize