What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
