Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was confusing and full of hummus
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
