I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
