I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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